Snorkelin

On Saturday, we went “snorkeling.” The only other time that I have been snorkeling (that I can remember) was in Mexico at Xel Ha. Snorkeling at Xel Ha was heaven because there were no waves and the water was crystal clear. I guess a very controlled environment hence a very controlled experience. Xel Ha is featured on the left.

The guy we decided to go with had already rent out his glass bottomed boat and our choices were a) a motor boat b) a mango tree. We voted for the motor boat and we waited for 30 minutes while they tried to find the motor.

The beach was beautiful that day. Tons of people were out at the resorts because it’s high season now. While we waited for the motor, we tried some madafu (not sure if that is the correct spelling). It is basically an unripe coconut that they cut the top off of and you drink coconut water. We had to pay the tourist price of 40 bob rather than the 10 bob you would pay in town but we decided the extra 30 was needed to complete our beach experience. I kind of wished I had just taken a picture with it rather than actually drinking it. Maybe I’m picky, but this stuff was gross. It makes me sick just thinking about it. It needed some sugar and maybe some flavor besides wood. But, Andrew convinced me that it was super nutritious so I guzzled the whole thing. This was a bad idea. Madafu basically looked like this, but a lot less ripe. Sorry Cliff, I know I didn't ask for your permission to post you on the web. You can beat me up when you come home.
The guy comes back; they can’t find the guy that owns the motor? So we take the mango tree. The boat is as skinny as a kayak but really deep. Apparently they import all their boats from Tanzania for about ksh75,000 or a little over a 1,000 bucks. The 4 of us waded out there to join our 3 captains. 7 people in that boat was a little ridiculous but to my surprise, we never actually tipped over. We had paid 15 bucks for this snorkeling excursion which included our fees into the park (the government has claimed any snorkeling anywhere in the ocean as entering the park). We didn’t really know where that was though. After going through amazing turquoise blue water, we got to not so turquoise blue water, threw out the anchor and well that was our time to shine. The trip out there made both Blair and I a little seasick. The tide was coming in and the waves were getting bigger and bigger. Andrew and Sam taught me to spit into my snorkeling goggles so that they didn’t fog up and we jumped in, fins and all.

It was weird because when I got into the ocean that was when I got more sea sick. You are looking down for anything that moves but you keep getting really close to the ocean floor and then really far away then really close then really far away. Andrew and I tried our best to stick together although I slowed him down because my snorkel kept allowing me to drink cups and cups of salt water.

By the end, we were exhausted. The madafu, the seawater, and the waves were not my favorite combo. But, really you just have to remember Safari Kenya. Nothing ever turns out the way you expect it to. We saw some really cool schools of fish, star fish, and some sea anemones. In the distance, you could see a ship that had ran into the reef. I think it was a cargo ship from Singapore? That would have been cool to see, but they told us no. Rarely has that word been spoken to us when we’ve asked to do something.

More Church-inspired chitchat

I apologize for my obsession with talking about church experiences. I can’t help it. Sunday is my favorite day of the week by a long shot.

I’ve been happily engaged in teaching piano lessons, more coaching than anything, for a month or so. Joseph and Joseph make each lesson more entertaining than the last. This morning, Joseph Muteti and I prepared for him to play the simplified version of Choose the Right in Priesthood. After his lesson, I had an hour to play hymns or rather attempt to play while all the little kids pounded on either side of the piano.

This is when I first interacted with the MVP of the day. He came up, telling me the names of the notes and then insisting that I teach him how rhythm works. I counted out loud one of the songs I was playing and after I finished he stood there for an awkward minute or two and then sat down. I gave a talk today in church about pioneers. After Sacrament meeting, he said that I had talked about things he had never heard of before. Then he told me to give him my email address. I was going to rip off a piece of my talk but I didn’t need to because well he decided to keep my talk and he would email me with questions about the place I come from.

After church, I ran into this fella again. This time he told me to give him my scriptures. (after telling Sam about this, he said that this old bugger has been telling him to give him his scriptures too) I laughed and said uh no. I was told that I could just buy new ones when I got home. My mom would be so proud of me for giving up my scriptures to some old Kenyan guy. Maybe this is selfish, but there was no way in the world that motivated me to give him my scriptures. I just laughed and ditched the situation (which I’ve proven quite effective in a lot of predicaments). Our last interaction was captured in this picture. Andrew and I really enjoy our friend Steve and thought hey lets get a photo with him. Luckily, Brother MVP decided he was going to be a part of it too. Andrew looked the way I felt.

Sorry, so back to Joseph’s Choose the Right performance. It turned out that it was a combined lesson and Joseph flipped out because well he was basically playing for the entire congregation minus 20 or so people. I volunteered to lead and announced that we had to take it real slow and begged that they were as patient with him as they had been with me. I think Joseph did a real swell job. There were many times that we sang acapella while he found his place, but I think he is going to take over once I’m gone which is such great news. And out of the corner of my eye, I could see good ole MVP tapping out the counting with ridiculously exaggerated movements.

I realize that I’m writing a novel about church, but our YSA Sunday School class was hilarious today. The lesson was on the Lord’s Law of Health. Of course, we got into a discussion about which drinks are bad and good. All the members were saying that Coke is bad. We don’t drink Coke. Fanta is good. Andrew tried to explain that avoiding caffeine is not in church doctrine. It is a personal choice. He also stated that chocolate has caffeine in it and we all eat that. The guy next to me raised his hand and when our teacher called on him he thanked her ever so much for calling on him. This is a quick indication that he was going to say something entertaining and he did. He basically said that he eats chocolate and where he comes from his friends call him Chocolate and what is he supposed to do about that? I agree, what is he supposed to do about that? We all assured him that he could continue to eat chocolate and go by that nickname if he wanted to. One of the Josephs also had nice things to say. He raised his hand to say that before he joined the church and he was writing the lyrics for one of his group’s songs, he drank a cup of tea and felt so much better. Cheryl, the matter-of-fact teacher, basically said well that’s nice and moved on. I also enjoyed watching the guy next to me, “Chocolate,” mark each verse over and over again with alternating red and green.

We decided we might as well take a bunch of pictures with the branch and this is them, in all their glory.

Harry Potter and lots of Sweets

I just couldn’t resist telling everyone that I saw the new Harry Potter movie tonight. I’m nervous to say that I loved it because I’m not sure if word has it that everyone loves it or hates it. But, to possibly stand alone, I loved it.

This is basically how it went. We all went to the movie theater and before the show Andrew and I bought a giant bucket of popcorn for 2 bucks. I could barely wrap my arms around this monster. The lady gave us half caramel/ half regular or half SWEET and half SALTY as Andrew explained with exaggerated gestures.

Movies generally begin with the same previews every time. I’m getting stoked for Fantastic Four and the movie where the guy’s wife gets pregnant and they have to move to a house in the woods. Every time I see the preview I get more and more excited. So, we watch previews for maybe 10 or 15 minutes then Mr. Bean shows us proper movie etiquette. In the no smoking segment, he attempts to smoke a cigarette, pipe, bigger pipe, and something that resembles a giant pepper grinder. Next, he gabs silently on his cell phone and the hand comes from the side and pulls it away from him. The last part of the segment shows Mr. Bean drinking a martini. As the hand keeps taking them away, the camera reveals that he has been making the martinis with this setup that looks like a child’s chemistry set. Finally, he accepts the fact that it is going to be a giant cup the size of his torso and a bucket of popcorn that looks exactly like the one we ate.

After Mr. Bean, we get commercials and not just a dash. I’d say about 15 minutes. Advertisements for paint, exchanging money, etc. Basically everything that should be advertised before a kid’s movie. I usually get pretty geared up during the previews and to have a block of Mr. Bean and poorly done advertisements kind of kills it all. The last advertisement we saw was for a cell phone company advertising one of their plans called Mambo 6. (Mambo is slang for Jambo and you pay 6 ksh per minute during off peak hours) The theme song they chose was of course good old Mambo #5 by that one guy. They even have a different Latino singing it. Another fabulous Kenyan replica with the same Mexican feel.

Harry Potter was going great. I had my jacket to my face (this one was a little bit scarier) and Harry had just kissed Cho (sorry if you haven’t seen it) and then we get this ghetto movie reel going across the screen. Intermission. And once again, commercials. The same ones. If I see that guy named Peter in a Durapaint uniform teaching me how to paint a wall one more time, I’m not sure who will die but someone will. Before I could kill anyone, Harry Potter came back on in 5 minutes and we made it to the end without another intermission.

If you are lucky (we weren’t lucky in this showing), you get to stand for the Kenyan national anthem. I’ve only done this once before (the other movie we went to I had to take my camera home because the guy thought I was a bootlegger) and it is a bit awkward because you want to put your hand on your heart but is that appropriate here? Probably not. I came home from the theater, ate a not-frozen, imitation otter pop, and a frozen homemade brownie. Thanks Mom!

Real Good Safari

Once again, I figured that you could read Andrew’s or Sam and Blair’s blogs to get the full trip from start to finish and well I thought I’d share a few highlights. When I think about writing the entire trip from start to finish, I kind of want to die so here are some favorites.

The drive to Nairobi. We listened to old gospel/ folk music that made me feel like I was in “Oh Brother, Where are thou?” and when we attempted to listen to the radio we heard Fergie’s ‘Glamorous’ and then a bunch of Kenyan women talking about relationships. Yuck. Our driver, Francis, got pulled over for passing a broken down Lorrie and the police officer said “come over here so I can charge you.” No, he didn’t get a fine but the particular phrase the officer used was, to say the least, interesting. For lunch, we ate at the Sikh temple in Makindu. Did you know that they feed anyone? What a great religion. We had to put on head coverings- Blair and I looked ridiculous and Sam and Andrew looked like pirates-and there were signs everywhere that said “DO NOT WASTE FOOD.” Luckily the food was spectacular. Great curry, rice, and chapatti and the cleanest/nicest bathrooms I have seen in all of Kenya. We just had to leave a donation at the door. Did I mention that it felt like we were driving through Southern Utah? I hadn’t seen a hill in 2 months and it was thrilling to see something that could possibly be called a mountain.

Seeing Stars in the Masai Mara. By far the best part of the Safari. We finished dinner and walked out from under the tent to see a beautiful star covered sky. I immediately tried to look for constellations and our guide jumped right in to help. Simon had received an astronomy book from some tourist that was from Miami and had read the whole thing. Here he was showing us the Southern Cross, Jupiter, Leo, the rift in the Milky Way, etc etc. We also saw the Big Dipper and where the North Star should be. L-o-v-e loved it.

The night I ate 5 plates of dessert. Enough said there.

My “Wendy’s Frosty.” Ashley taught me years ago to dip my fries in a Wendy’s Frosty. Our last night in Nairobi, we ate at Steers (a South African fast food chain restaurant) again and I got a chocolate milkshake and fries that were heavenly.

The Maasai in General. I loved to play spot the Maasai warrior on our road trip. It’s kind of like “Where’s Waldo?” but about fifty times easier. They wear bright red and everything else is green or brown. One of the guards I met at Olare Camp is named Boston. Quite a unique name for a Maasai right? He was born in a hospital in the Maasai Mara and there was a doctor there who was from Boston and told his mother to give him the name. I wonder how many Maasai people are running around with US city names. Safari Jackson offered us a day trip to see the Masaai village and we graciously declined because well that’s just a little too much tourist. We could’ve seen how the lived, their beds, buy things from them, etc but it was 15 bucks and most of the money would go to someone who didn’t need it anyways. Our route to Olare Camp was through a bunch of different Maasai villages (because our guide was a Maasai man) and our van almost killed 20 different herds of cattle and donkeys and a bunch of little children waving to us. I liked all the Maasai we encountered. They had an air of quiet dignity about them. Our guide was apparently the owner of the conservancy we traveled through. 150 acres of land. Wealthy Maasai Man.

Disneyland. Our game drives felt like being in Disneyland. We could see two distinct tire tracks through the grass and we were going so slow that it felt like those kiddie rides where they let you steer but in reality there is a metal beam in the middle that you can’t get away from. I swear Char and I went on a car ride like that when we were little. I was amazed that we never got lost. Sometimes we had a few options of different tire tracks and sometimes we just blazed our own trail. Well a lot of times. The opposite of Disneyland was when we came upon 3 or 4 vans that were attempting to get through a “gate.” These Kenya fellows had put a stick across the road and were charging people because they “filled in” the river so that vans could cross. By “filled in,” I mean branches not rocks. We got out with the other tourists and watched as van after van floored it across mud/branches. I would’ve preferred to walk but Safari Jackson hustled us all in the van and we floored it too. If we hadn’t made it, there was a big pile of rocks about 2 feet away and we could’ve helped the people that charged us fill it in properly.

Animals. Yes, we did see a lot of animals. I decidedly didn’t take a lot of pictures of the animals because I was more intrigued by the scenery than anything else. There is something about waking up at 6 AM, having a cup or two of hot chocolate, jumping into a safari van, and heading through miles and miles of brown grass. We were all bundled up and freezing but endured the wind to see the sun rise and just realize that we were in the middle of nowhere. I was completely satisfied to drive around and look at our surroundings in the morning and evening game drives. I did enjoy our time at the Masai River where our driver let us get out of the car (oops) and see the crocs and hippos from the cliff. The crocs were about 10-15 below us and when they slithered into the water I almost had a heart attack. I ran. The flamingos were definitely the most entertaining. I couldn’t get enough of seeing them fly. They would run, or stumble, across the water with these stick legs and once they took off they didn’t tuck them in. They stuck out right behind them. Andrew and I played the immature but super fun game of running next to the lake so that they would all start flying. I’m sure all the tourists shook their heads in shame when they saw us.

All in all, it was a great trip. The animals were unreal, the driver insane, and well we had lots of adventures which is what I had hoped for.

In Kenya News…

I have to pay tribute to the NTV news station, The Standard Newspaper, and the South African news show that provided quality entertainment for me over the past week.

My favorite thing about NTV news was their attempt at American news casting. Their news stories were full of phrases like “let the cat out of the basket,” “sands of time,” and “reinventing the wheel.” There were hardly any commercials between news stories but enough to make you excited for more. We heard all about how Kenyans were doing in the All-African games for about 30 seconds and then a 10 minute story about how there was a cat nursing dogs. Hmm.

The Standard Newspaper kept me sane on our drive home from Nairobi to Mombasa. It was about 7 hours and I had finished my book the day before. I attempted to reread the Odyssey but the introduction retold the story and analyzed the characters, so I figured there was no point. The Standard is a well-written newspaper but there is a section in the middle that is just for the Monday newspaper that was full of gossip, love advice, and weird weird stories. One of my favorites-retold in my words:

“This guy in Romania was arrested for murder and went to prison. He sued God because when he was baptized it was part of the covenant that God wouldn’t let bad things happen to him and God had let Satan tempt him. He was suing for all the time he wasted at church and candles he bought. He tried to get his money back for 2 years and finally gave up because God does not have an address.”

I don’t have any sources to confirm this story but it made me laugh.

The South African news show had 2 stories that caught my attention

1. Maybe I’m just in a bubble but did anyone know that Zimbabwe’s inflation is around 10,000%? And that their President just ordered all stores to slash their prices in half so that the population can afford it? Basically, the President is taking control of whatever he can and creating black markets left and right. This guy needs to be gone gone gone because all his people are headin for South Africa. And the World Food Programme is upping the amount of food being sent there. Feeding 4 million instead of 2 million. We should feed the hungry but isn’t it a bad sign when the President’s plan to help people out creates more hungry people?
2. This news story is probably more widespread. A bunch of Libyan nurses and a Palestinian doctor are in jail for infecting over 400 children with aids? Wow, I have a hard time believing they did it.
   
   

Now, of course, is the topic of the earthquakes that have been happening in Tanzania. We did feel them at breakfast in the Masai Mara and at our office in Mombasa. Just a little shake. David (marketing manager) was telling us about this fella who is a legit professor from a university who went all religious and got on national television about 3 months ago telling Nairobi that it was too late for them. God is sending an earthquake to kill everybody and even if they repent well it’s too late. This guy is probably feeling pretty good right now- prophesying things that are sort of happening. Too bad there is not much we can do about it.

In other news (as Andrew would say), I added lotsa pics.

http://byu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=8810&l=16cec&id=586037020

Safari Kenya or Safari Jackson?

Let me explain. ‘Safari Kenya’ is something you say after you hit a bump and everyone goes flying. The first time Jackson (our driver) said it we all laughed. It’s okay, safari Kenya. It’s all about the experience, safari Kenya. After 3 days, with Jackson I learned that a lot of our inconveniences and experiences were more Safari Jackson than Safari Kenya. A few examples in no particular order:

We hit a speed bump in the middle of a ghost town and the top of the safari van pops up. Safari Kenya.

That same speed bump or perhaps a swerve in traffic causes the front passenger seat to come unlatched. Safari Kenya.

Jackson asks ‘So where are we going? And for how many nights?’ Safari Jackson

In the hills of the Rift Valley, our car starts overheating and we have to pull over because Jackson failed to replace the radiator before our journey. Safari Jackson

Our Safari van rumbles through off-roading spots that should not be attempted by a vehicle with low clearance and we lose our skid plate in the process. Safari Kenya

We all have to go to the bathroom in the bushes and even the driver joins us. Safari Kenya

We high centered the van in the middle of the plains. Safari Kenya.

We all got out of the van and walked around looking for rocks and examined the situation in lion country with a Masaai Warrior. Safari Jackson.

Sam: Are those acacia trees poisonous?

Jackson: Yes, they kill you. You have to have a tetanus shot within 24 hours.

10 minutes later, we’re all standing up in the Safari van, headed towards a bunch of acacia trees and we all have to duck. Oops. Mind the acacia. Safari Jackson.

Our cook from the deluxe tented camp hitches a ride with us and so does the Masaai warrior. Safari Kenya

The cook gets out in an area “where people like to fight” to fill up a pile of glass bottles with water to cool off the radiator. Safari Kenya

The driver decides to add that water to the radiator (the radiator is under the driver/passenger bench) and pours the water in while I’m in the back seat. The water spews everywhere and I dive for the trunk. Safari Jackson.

My favorite moment was when we had been sitting in our broken down van for almost an hour, waiting for our rescue van that was supposed to take 15 minutes, Jackson was standing next to the hood of the car staring off into the sky, and he comes back to turn on the radio and says “Safari Kenya.” All I could manage was “I don’t think you can really use that phrase anymore.”

Safari Jackson didn’t turn out so bad in the end. He was an interesting chap but pretty funny at moments. We gave him quite a talking to for telling us to call him and then turning off his phone or giving us explanations that made absolutely no sense. Maybe our explanations made no sense to him either. Oh well. Safari Kenya.

We'll be on Safari

So for the next 4-5 days, we will “be on safari.” Not on a safari, but on safari. A safari classifies a journey; safari alone means a trip to Nairobi, Masai Mara, Nakuru, etc. etc. And that’s what our safari will encompass as long as the car we are taking makes it there.

You can’t avoid picking up their way of saying things here. We don’t say that we go to a university in the states, we go to university. And people haven’t really heard of internships here. We are on ‘attachment.’ I thought that when we came here ‘Jambo’ meant Hello, which it does, but it also can be assumed as ‘What’s up?’ So you say Jambo, they say Mzuri (Fine). The first couple of weeks here it frustrated me that people would say ‘fine, fine thank you’ to ‘Hello.’ It felt like they assumed what you were going to say, before you said it, and instead of waiting for you to say ‘How are You?’ they beat you to it. And for that matter, when people say Fine back home I always think they are not really fine but a little bugged about you asking them that question. Here ‘Fine’ must be the standard answer everyone is taught in school.

I guess that was a lot more than I needed to say to say that we’ll be on safari.

While we’re gone please continue to read Andrew’s blog as much as you humanly possibly can handle it. Tell your friends to just open it. It makes his day a little brighter to see his page views go up on Google Analytics.