Safari Kenya or Safari Jackson?

Let me explain. ‘Safari Kenya’ is something you say after you hit a bump and everyone goes flying. The first time Jackson (our driver) said it we all laughed. It’s okay, safari Kenya. It’s all about the experience, safari Kenya. After 3 days, with Jackson I learned that a lot of our inconveniences and experiences were more Safari Jackson than Safari Kenya. A few examples in no particular order:

We hit a speed bump in the middle of a ghost town and the top of the safari van pops up. Safari Kenya.

That same speed bump or perhaps a swerve in traffic causes the front passenger seat to come unlatched. Safari Kenya.

Jackson asks ‘So where are we going? And for how many nights?’ Safari Jackson

In the hills of the Rift Valley, our car starts overheating and we have to pull over because Jackson failed to replace the radiator before our journey. Safari Jackson

Our Safari van rumbles through off-roading spots that should not be attempted by a vehicle with low clearance and we lose our skid plate in the process. Safari Kenya

We all have to go to the bathroom in the bushes and even the driver joins us. Safari Kenya

We high centered the van in the middle of the plains. Safari Kenya.

We all got out of the van and walked around looking for rocks and examined the situation in lion country with a Masaai Warrior. Safari Jackson.

Sam: Are those acacia trees poisonous?

Jackson: Yes, they kill you. You have to have a tetanus shot within 24 hours.

10 minutes later, we’re all standing up in the Safari van, headed towards a bunch of acacia trees and we all have to duck. Oops. Mind the acacia. Safari Jackson.

Our cook from the deluxe tented camp hitches a ride with us and so does the Masaai warrior. Safari Kenya

The cook gets out in an area “where people like to fight” to fill up a pile of glass bottles with water to cool off the radiator. Safari Kenya

The driver decides to add that water to the radiator (the radiator is under the driver/passenger bench) and pours the water in while I’m in the back seat. The water spews everywhere and I dive for the trunk. Safari Jackson.

My favorite moment was when we had been sitting in our broken down van for almost an hour, waiting for our rescue van that was supposed to take 15 minutes, Jackson was standing next to the hood of the car staring off into the sky, and he comes back to turn on the radio and says “Safari Kenya.” All I could manage was “I don’t think you can really use that phrase anymore.”

Safari Jackson didn’t turn out so bad in the end. He was an interesting chap but pretty funny at moments. We gave him quite a talking to for telling us to call him and then turning off his phone or giving us explanations that made absolutely no sense. Maybe our explanations made no sense to him either. Oh well. Safari Kenya.